Authorial Absurdity
mangocianamarch:


happy Ides of March all y’all plebeians

REMIND ME TO REBLOG THIS EVERY MARCH 15TH UNTIL I DIE

mangocianamarch:

happy Ides of March all y’all plebeians

REMIND ME TO REBLOG THIS EVERY MARCH 15TH UNTIL I DIE

Chores suck, and when you’re a kid, it’s a case of “I’m taking out the garbage because Mom makes me.” … As you get older, you’ll notice that your reasoning changes into something closer to “I’m taking out the garbage because I like living in a house that doesn’t smell like garbage.” That end result is important, and that’s what makes the chore worthwhile. “I’m cleaning my house because it’s relaxing to sit in a living room that doesn’t look like it’s been house-fucked by a tornado made of dicks.”

John Cheese (via cracked)

This last sentence describes what my old roommate would do to our apartment better than any description I’ve ever been able to form.

thepenguinpress:

Happy Birthday to F. Scott Fitzgerald, who would have been 117 today!
Celebrate by reading an excerpt from the forthcoming book Careless People: Murder, Mayhem, and the Invention of The Great Gatsby by Sarah Churchwell here.

thepenguinpress:

Happy Birthday to F. Scott Fitzgerald, who would have been 117 today!

Celebrate by reading an excerpt from the forthcoming book Careless People: Murder, Mayhem, and the Invention of The Great Gatsby by Sarah Churchwell here.

Word of the Day: scaramouch, n.

oupacademic:

image

will you do the fandango?

kadrey:

How to take a great author photo.

kadrey:

How to take a great author photo.

cracked:

radiohamlet:

Cracked was already one of my favorite sites on the internet, but recently it’s been reaching awe-inspiring levels of fantastic.

Just think, an article un-apologetically calling bullshit on sexism and rape culture in video games is on the front page of one of (if not the) biggest comedy website on the web.  I want to give everyone on staff a huge hug.

just don’t read the comments trust me

We’ve gotten a crazy-positive response from our Tumblr friends to this article, not to mention over 5,000 comments about it on Cracked.

Also the name “radiohamlet” makes us imagine Hamlet as played by Thom Yorke so thank you for giving us such chill, artsy braintimes.

quotesoncomics:

Gateway drug.
kyholio:

brebuscus:

jordanfrederick:

dont-let-the-bastards-win:

treskift:

thethingiam:

captain-snark:


davegrohlslongjohns:


Let’s see what you get.


I’m in and out of conversation
you just stood there screaming
there’s no time for a suitcase
don’t you cherish me to sleep
I should warn you
I paid you
The eastern world it is exploding
I walk the line of the disappointed
No sleep, no sleep until I’m done with finding the answer
No one’s taken my heart away


Don’t know, don’t know if I can do this on my own.
Don’t walk away like you always do.
Darling, you’re hiding in the closet once again.
The city roof is tipping down.
Watch how I bend, isn’t it neat?
Far over the misty mountains cold.
Black star, black star.
Leaves from the vine, falling so slow.
Dry lightning cracks across the sky.
I’ll tell you flat out, it hurts so much to think of this.

Did your mother like your Sunday dress
You build me up, you knock me down
You, I trusted your intentions
What I leave when you go
A punctured bicycle, on a hill desolate
I met her just last Wednesday, by Sunday she was mine
When faith alone is not enough, to keep our heads barely above
Lipstick has a way of leaving more than just a mark on my sheets
Look at all my trials and tribulations, sinking in a gentle pool of wine
Dawn is breaking in a ray of light

I got a gun in my hand but the gun wont cock
The first time that it came to me I was a young boy little did I not believe
Picking up pieces of the day
Well I stumble in at 2am all drunk and full of smoke
I’ve got a trans an and primer paint
Heres to you I sing for my daddy-o
I’ll tell me ma’ when I go, the boys wont leave the girls alone
Dont you play me like nintendo
Some day you will grow up and learn to lie, just like your daddy did when he told you no one ever really dies
Go on a date

Don’t you lie and lie to me
Where do you go?
So Many People
Its not so worth getting all bent out of shape about
What if we could put our lives on hold?
Why’d you cut holes in the moons face?
Were you named for the river that surrounds all my biggest mistakes or the way I made it out?
I messed up again when I tried 
midnight on the water 
I hear something hanging on the wind

I made two =P
Come on, oh my star is fading
All I need is a little alcoholic beverage
Uncertainty is killing me
I see you there
Like the men that walked before me
Never again
See I’ve got this woman here
You cover me
Indifference grows
Don’t talk
~~~~~~~
I will wait for this moment when our lips collide and almost stop the earth
Right now
Day’s last one-way ticket train pulls in
Twenty years
If I don’t say this now I will surely break
I did my best to notice
Watching the ships roll in
I used to make the light shine for you
It was a long and dark December
This is life in a car crash

The wilted flowers that I gave
No other love, no other touch
I liked having hurt
You’re such a flirt, I know you’re hurt
I’ve got no strings
I don’t know why people try to be alive when they not
All her signals are getting lost in the ether
Corrupt
I felt for sure last night
Breathe in, breathe out

 
It was an April morning, when they told us we should go

Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes

He’s a fairy feller

They closed down the auto plant in Mahwah late last month

Love of my life, you’ve hurt me

As the sun comes up on another day

Reluctantly crouched at the starting line 

It’s not the way you smile, that touched my heart

There’s a hole in the wall, where the light’s shining in

There’s no living in my life anymore

kyholio:

brebuscus:

jordanfrederick:

dont-let-the-bastards-win:

treskift:

thethingiam:

captain-snark:

davegrohlslongjohns:

Let’s see what you get.

I’m in and out of conversation

you just stood there screaming

there’s no time for a suitcase

don’t you cherish me to sleep

I should warn you

I paid you

The eastern world it is exploding

I walk the line of the disappointed

No sleep, no sleep until I’m done with finding the answer

No one’s taken my heart away

Don’t know, don’t know if I can do this on my own.

Don’t walk away like you always do.

Darling, you’re hiding in the closet once again.

The city roof is tipping down.

Watch how I bend, isn’t it neat?

Far over the misty mountains cold.

Black star, black star.

Leaves from the vine, falling so slow.

Dry lightning cracks across the sky.

I’ll tell you flat out, it hurts so much to think of this.

Did your mother like your Sunday dress

You build me up, you knock me down

You, I trusted your intentions

What I leave when you go

A punctured bicycle, on a hill desolate

I met her just last Wednesday, by Sunday she was mine

When faith alone is not enough, to keep our heads barely above

Lipstick has a way of leaving more than just a mark on my sheets

Look at all my trials and tribulations, sinking in a gentle pool of wine

Dawn is breaking in a ray of light

I got a gun in my hand but the gun wont cock

The first time that it came to me I was a young boy little did I not believe

Picking up pieces of the day

Well I stumble in at 2am all drunk and full of smoke

I’ve got a trans an and primer paint

Heres to you I sing for my daddy-o

I’ll tell me ma’ when I go, the boys wont leave the girls alone

Dont you play me like nintendo

Some day you will grow up and learn to lie, just like your daddy did when he told you no one ever really dies

Go on a date

Don’t you lie and lie to me

Where do you go?

So Many People

Its not so worth getting all bent out of shape about

What if we could put our lives on hold?

Why’d you cut holes in the moons face?

Were you named for the river that surrounds all my biggest mistakes or the way I made it out?

I messed up again when I tried

midnight on the water

I hear something hanging on the wind

I made two =P

Come on, oh my star is fading

All I need is a little alcoholic beverage

Uncertainty is killing me

I see you there

Like the men that walked before me

Never again

See I’ve got this woman here

You cover me

Indifference grows

Don’t talk

~~~~~~~

I will wait for this moment when our lips collide and almost stop the earth

Right now

Day’s last one-way ticket train pulls in

Twenty years

If I don’t say this now I will surely break

I did my best to notice

Watching the ships roll in

I used to make the light shine for you

It was a long and dark December

This is life in a car crash

The wilted flowers that I gave

No other love, no other touch

I liked having hurt

You’re such a flirt, I know you’re hurt

I’ve got no strings

I don’t know why people try to be alive when they not

All her signals are getting lost in the ether

Corrupt

I felt for sure last night

Breathe in, breathe out

 

It was an April morning, when they told us we should go

Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes

He’s a fairy feller

They closed down the auto plant in Mahwah late last month

Love of my life, you’ve hurt me

As the sun comes up on another day

Reluctantly crouched at the starting line

It’s not the way you smile, that touched my heart

There’s a hole in the wall, where the light’s shining in

There’s no living in my life anymore

in-the-year-of-39:

Today is one of the most important days in history. On September 5, a very special man was born unto earth and that man’s name was Farrokh Bulsara who later on became known as the legendary Freddie Mercury. 

Despite him leaving us early, let us remember this day as a day to celebrate his wonderful life. Wherever he may be, he’s probably drinking tea with his cats.

My darling, you shall remain in our hearts till the end of time and even further. We still love you.